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He limped downstairs just as Mary Ann was going into the dining room for prayers, and then he sat down to breakfast. You re very quiet this morning, Philip, said Aunt Louisa presently. He s thinking of the good breakfast he ll have at school to morrow, said the Vicar. When Philip answered, it was in a way that always irritated his uncle, with something that had nothing to do with the matter i. n hand. He called it a bad habit of wool gathering. Supposing you d asked God to do something, said Philip, and really believed it was going to happen, like moving a mountain, I mean, and you had faith, and it didn t happen, what would it mean What a funny boy you are said Aunt Louisa. You asked about moving mountains two or three weeks ago. It would just mean that you hadn t got faith, answered Uncle William. Philip accepted the explanation. If God had not cured him, it was because he did not really believe. And yet he did not see how he could believe more than he did. 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ilip. it s too degrading. if I go now I go for good. Unless you ll come with me tonight you ll never see me again. You seem to think that ll be an awful thing for me. All I say is, good riddance to bad rubbish. Then good bye. He nodded and limped away slowly, for he hoped with all his heart that she would call him back. At the next lamp post he stopped and looked over his shoulder. He thought she might beckon to him he was willing to forget everything, he was ready for any humiliation but she had turned away, and apparently had ceased to trouble about him. He realised that she was glad to be quit of him. chapter 59 Philip passed the evening wretchedly. He had told his landlady that he would not be in, so there was nothing for him to eat, and he had to go to Gatti s for dinner. Afterwards he went back to his rooms, but Griffiths on the floor above him was having a party, and the noisy merriment made his own misery more hard to bear. He went to a music hall, but it was Saturday night and there was standing room only after half an hour of boredom his legs grew tired and he went home. He tried to read, but he could not fix his attention and yet it was necessary that he should work hard. His examination in biology was in little more than a fortnight, and, though it was easy, he had neglected chelsea football kits junior his lectures of late and was conscious that he knew nothing. It was only a viva, however, and he felt sure that in a fortnight he could find out enough about the subject to scrape through. He had confidence in his intelligence. He threw aside his book and gave himself up to thinking deliberately of the matter which was in his mind all the time. He reproached himself bitterly for his behaviour that evening. Why had he given her the alternative that she must dine with him or else never see him again Of course she refused. He should have allowed for her pride. He had burnt his ships behind him. It would not be so hard to bear if he thought that she was suffering now, but he knew her too well she was perfectly indifferent to him. If he hadn t been a fool he would have pretended to believe her story he ought to have had the strength to conceal his disappointment and the self control to master his temper. He could not tell why he loved her. He had read of the idealisation that takes place in love, but he saw her exactly as she was. She was not amusing or clever, her mind was common she had a vulgar shrewdness which revolted him, she had.re clever or industrious, and which were rotters. Philip was conscious that his failure was a surprise to no one but himself. It was tea time, and he knew that a lot of men would be having tea in the basement of the Medical School those who had passed the examination would be exultant, those who disliked him would look at him with satisfaction, and the poor devils who had failed would sympathise with him in order to receive sympathy. 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You ve been brought up like a gentleman and Christian, and I should be false to the trust laid upon me by your dead father and mother if I allowed you to expose yourself to such temptation. Well, I know I m ugliest football kits not a Christian and I m beginning to doubt whether I m a gentleman, said Philip. The dispute grew more violent. celtic glasgow jerseys There was another year before Philip took possession of his small inheritance, and during that time Mr. Carey proposed only to give him an allowance if he remained at the office. It was clear to Philip that if he meant not to continue with chelsea football kits junior accountancy he must leave it while he could still get back half the money that had been paid for his articles. The Vicar would not listen. Philip, losing all reserve, said things to wound and irritate. You ve got no right to waste my money, he said at last. After all it s my money, isn t it I m not a child. 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